A Collection
by Kitara Lira
Summary: This is a collection of pieces I have wrote and will be adding to as I write more; all dedicated to Shizuru and Natsuki of course.
1. Chapter 1

Five months have passed since that day.

Nothing seems to have changed; laughter and smiles appear never to have faded.

Yet no matter how perfect your mask may be – no matter how many you may be able to deceive – that smile doesn't fool me.

The eyes give way to your true feelings.

Those once vibrant orbs no longer sparkle.

You still act the same, constantly teasing me as you always have.

With perhaps even more fan girls now, you flirt as harmlessly, just as you always have.

I wish I could remove all your pains.

That I could love you the way you love me.

You are my most precious person, yet still I cannot say it.

When our lips met on that day; was it out of sympathy or was it something else?

Ever since that day – the day I broke your heart – things have never been the same.

Time spent with you seems hard to come by as you are always so busy, and I so afraid.

Then when I do get time with you, we seem to sit quietly.

As you sip your tea, you occasionally find a way to tease me, making my face flush red.

I never know what to say; afraid I may just say the wrong thing.

Hours pass by, our time almost up.

I dread that time alone, without you by my side.

But what can I do?

It was I who broke your heart and it was I that shattered your soul.

Some say its love, the feeling of bliss that only you can create for me - the feeling of comfort and security only when you're around.

It may be love, it may not.

Yet when I see you with those other girls it breaks my heart.

However, if you are moving on then I must accept this.

As always I was two steps too slow.

Too slow to realize that feeling of butterflies in my stomach… only you could do that.

The feeling of loneliness and pain whenever you're not around.

Whatever it is, I know I am too late.

Never will I be able to say to you those three simple words:

"_I love you."_


	2. Chapter 2

Was it a love; or a lust? That night when our lips first met.

Her breathe was heavy with the scent of liquor. The way her black silk dress clung to every curve of her body; it was enough to drive any man up the wall.

To the beat of the music she danced with a beauty fit for the Gods; about her swarmed sweaty bodies, many trying to win a dance with the said beauty. Locks of honey framed the edges of her face, glittering vibrantly, even in what little light the club offered.

Confidence written upon my facial features – many simply laughed – thinking I was a fool; if they couldn't win her what gave me any hope in hell? Skillfully making my way through the crowd, I stood for a moment, simply basking in her beauty. As I moved forward again, the song ended a strangely slow song taking its place. Ever so gracefully I bowed, extending my arm towards the said Goddess, _**"May I have this dance?"**_ I inquired, my voice only loud enough for her and I to hear. All about us onlookers chuckled pointing mercilessly. _'I'll show them…' _I thought to myself. The seconds felt like hours. For once I was actually afraid; afraid of rejection. Unable to bring my eyes up to meet hers I kept them focused upon the ground, taking a sudden interest to the tying of my shoes. Known for my one night stands, I feared the woman wished nothing of me. Through all of my thoughts, I failed to notice her movement, that was, until her hand slipped into mine. Warm cherry lips parting into a heavenly smile, I basked once again in her glow as I stared upwards. All about, the crowd went silent, shock emanating from the party goers.

Adorning my most charming smile and ignoring the many death glares, I rose to the proper dance stance. With one arm about her slender waist, the other wandering about the low of her back, the two of us seemed the focus of attention. Her arms loosely held about my neck, the stares seemed invisible to us; the whole world disappearing.

As the dance came to an end, a round of applause greeted us, only then bringing us back to the world about us. Red crept its way onto my checks as I suddenly felt a tingling sensation within my gut.

Reading my behavior like a book, I felt a tug on our still intertwined fingers. The first few steps, followed by the howls and icy glares felt unreal. As if none of this was truly happening. A dream. However, the sudden rush of cold air against my bare skin and the crushing sensation against my lips told me otherwise.

Fueled by the fiery passion from within and some unknown force, our lips remained locked well beyond any normal amount of time. Breaking to catch our breathes the honey haired woman couldn't help but smile, her forehead resting against mine. We stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity. Finally I broke the silence, _**"I love you Shizuru."**_

A smile tracing across those perfectly plump lips, the woman in question giggled caressing my cheek tenderly, _**"I love you too, my Natsuki." **_


	3. Chapter 3

_The Confession_

_Drops of rain fill the evening sky._

_She's crying again,_

_I can feel it._

_Masked by that perfect smile no one can see her pain,_

_No one but me_

_Every time I manage the slightest bit of concern she brushes me aside._

_Always teasing relentlessly_

_Whenever I fell she was the one to pick me back up._

_Yet her, my honey-haired goddess,_

_She will let no one near,_

_Not even me._

_Within my eyes pools of sadness take hold._

_Instead of pursuing her,_

_I ran._

_Ran for the place we'd first met._

_Least did I expect her._

_Yes, her of all people to be standing there._

_With tear stained cheeks,_

_A far from perfect image_

_However to me, it only adds to her beauty,_

_The beauty of being human_

_Quickly she tries to cover her tears,_

_Turning to run,_

_To leave me_

_Before I realize what it is I have done, I feel warmth within my arms_

_It is her warmth._

_With arms tightly about her waist I hold her reassuringly,_

_For the first time she allows me to feel her pain._

_To allow me to just hold her as I am now,_

_Seeing her weakness first hand_

_I would stay like this forever if it only meant her happiness._

_I would stay with her until the end of the world came again,_

_Just to see her smile._

_I love you Shizuru;_

_Always have;_

_And always will._


	4. Chapter 4

This is just a piece I wrote some time back. It is a piece that can be represented by Natsuki and Shizuru; depending on the way you look at it, and how the meaning comes across to you will dictate whether you think the piece is from Shizuru to Natsuki or Natsuki to Shizuru. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it. I hope to put up another mini piece before the end of tonight.

* * *

_Twisted Love_

_Speak not of the encrouching darkness_

_For now bath only in the light_

_May your smile never fade_

_As brilliant as the stars of the night sky,_

_Your very essence has captured me_

_Is it a sin?_

_To fall for the forbidden fruit?_

_You make grown men squirm beneath your heavy gaze_

_Yet behind those hard eyes are pools of sorrow,_

_Loneliness_

_If I were to capture your lips in mine,_

_Would you be disquisted?_

_Would you hate me?_

_I cannot stop these thoughts as they linger on the border between friendship and perhaps something more_

_Perhaps it is a lust_

_A desire for those perfectly rosy lips_

_Forgive me,_

_Hell awaits me for these thoughts_

_The craving of your lingering touch_

_Innocently you smile as you walk past,_

_Sending chills down my spine_

_As I watch your lingering figure_

_I curse myself for these images my mind conjures_

_For I love you the way in which you will never love me_

_I have fallen for the one thing I may never have_

_You_


	5. Chapter 5

**Forbidden Love**

_Every time that voice speaks my knees go weak_

_Only you have that effect on me_

_Only you_

_As you call my name time seems to stop_

_My heart skips a beat_

_You smile at me with that perfect smile_

_The soft moisture upon your lips drawing my attention_

_Again and again you call my name, suddenly worried_

_Yet still I am unable to speak_

_This is just one of the effects you have upon me_

_Its too much for me as you lean close,_

_Your lips mere inches from mine._

_Why must you tease me so?_

_Why?_

_The pain in your voice stings me as you lean in even closer now,_

_Hands upon my shoulders_

_Finally as if an angel has held me, my trance is broken_

_I look up_

_Glistening pools of jade await me_

_The expression upon your face tears me apart,_

_For I know I am the only one to blame_

_I am the one to blame for that unnatural expression upon your face_

_I try everything to break our contact,_

_Yet you won't have it_

_At your touch I melt inside can you not see,_

_Just how much your very presence makes me numb?_

_Please forgive me_

_I never wanted to hurt you,_

_However if I said those three simple words to you,_

_The disgust you would feel would be too much for me_

_Like before I would be alone_

_Without the warmth of your presence to thaw this frozen soul_

_Hesitant, I wipe those tears of worry from your eyes_

_Damn you for being so perfect in every way_

_Averting my gaze I assure you all is fine_

_As usual you merely smile and nod,_

_Why did I fall for you?_

_You of all people?_

_No longer able to contain my desire for you I lean forward_

_Puzzled, all you do is stare at me with those oh so perfect eyes_

_You make no move to avoid me_

_Even now you still trust me,_

_Why?_

_Those tears that threaten to fall, I will not let them_

_With my lips upon your face I kiss away those tears_

_Slowly making my way down to those intoxicating lips_

_Still you make no move to resist, too shocked I'm sure_

_Silently I beg to God_

_Forgive me for the sin I am about to commit_

_At first brushing my lips against yours, I tremble in fear_

_Forgive me_

_This love I feel for you is wrong in every way,_

_But if it is only I who will fall to Hell then I will willingly accept_

_For you are my one and only_

_My forbidden everything._

* * *

Another nightmare; ever since that day that was all that haunts my sleeping hours. Bathed in a thin layer of sweat, breath slightly erratic, I clasp my head with my hands, shaking off the terrorizing images.

"Mmmm…" To my right something stirs beneath the sheets.

"Natsuki…" The word leaving my lips is no louder then a whisper for I dare not wake the sleeping beauty.

"Mmm…" You look so cute as you sleep, the smallest trail of drool kissing your face, "…Shizuru…"

My eyes go wide. Even in your sleep the way you call my name causes my stomach to turn. Oh Natsuki why do you tease me so? Is it pity? Remorse? Since the Carnival you've been acting different. Outside you stray far, keeping your distance from me, yet at night…. Most nights you find your way to my dorm. We never say anything. You always just show up and we go to sleep. Nothing happens. Nothing ever does. Just you on your side, me on mine. Yet, when I wake up with a start, much like tonight, I feel warmth pressing against me. There you are, your arms wrapped protectively about my waist, your leg thrown over mine and your head nuzzled into the crook of my neck. The first time it ever happened I was at a loss. It was obvious my Natsuki didn't like me that way. No. Not my. Just Natsuki. Natsuki had made it quite clear during the Carnival that her love for me was not like mine. It was hard, but I accepted this. In fact, I had expected it. However, to feel you so close to me, and of your own accord…. I could not stay where I was that night. Removing myself, I had gone for a walk. It had only been a few hours before dawn; perhaps an early start to the day wouldn't be such a bad thing.

I never spoke of it, how could I? That feeling as you embraced me, just your warmth…. I loved it. With the way you treated me outside, I didn't want to lose what little I had of you inside, even if you were only sleeping. Soon I began to cherish those nights, my nightmares subsiding to weekly occurrences rather then daily. Sometimes I would even smile at school. It wasn't one of those fake smiles I always wore. No, it was a real smile and it always came when thinking of you.

Looking down, my throat held fast, you're so breath-taking. Upon your side, hands loosely curled against your chest, your hair sprawled about the pillow the moon only adding to your beauty, your perfection. Unable to stop myself, I lean forward, tucking back the stray lock of hair that tickles your nose. A small gasp escapes my lips. Your skin is so smooth; flawless. Noting the time on the digital clock, I chuckle. I've already been awake for almost an hour, and in that hour all I've been able to do is watch you rest. _'I'm hopeless.'_

Suddenly you stir, my hand lingering at the side of your face as your eyelids flicker open. Not being an early riser, or one to be woken up from your slumber, you let out a soft growl, stretching your arms high above your head. I cannot help but giggle, you're always so cute. The sound seems to alert you to my presence as you pull the covers up past your nose trying to hide the blush forming on your cheeks. Even upon waking you're so easy to tease, "Oi… Shizuru… what's so funny?" You attempt to sound frustrated, even angry, but I know you better. You're just embarrassed. The location of my hand does not go unnoticed as you bury yourself deeper under the blankets, "Shizuru…" You whisper softly. The way you say my name… it leaves me gasping for air.

"Gomen Natsuki. You just look so cute when waking up. I couldn't help myself." It was true, she did look so adorable. Of course, I wasn't about to tell her that she was absolutely breath-taking and I wanted nothing more then to spend the rest of my life with her. No I couldn't tell her that.

Cautiously she allowed the blanket to lower, now showing the tip of her nose, "…" She seemed to struggle internally with something as she fought with the issue of whether or not to speak.

"Natsu…" I began, my eyebrows furrowed slightly. I didn't say anything wrong did I?

I wasn't given the change to even finish saying her name as I was cut off. You eyes were closed, cheeks flushed, "Youdidn'thaveanotherbaddreamdidyou?" It all came out so quickly I had almost missed it.

She had known? I thought I had done well to conceal my nightmares from her. She had never said anything about it before. Unwillingly a sigh left my lips, as I shook my head, "Iie, not anymore. Natsuki chased it away." I said putting on a playful smile, hoping to reassure her. It worked…. a little.

Lowering the blanket completely, Natsuki didn't seem completely convinced. "Are you sure? I mean you've been really tired lately, and I know you didn't just wake up." How did she…. "In fact, I know that you don't get a lot of sleep, and you spend most of the night just lying there pretending to."

"Natsuki, how…." My mask had fallen and all I could do was stare, mouth gaping, eyes wide. She was always sure to make sure Natsuki had fallen asleep before she ever opened her eyes. Though Natsuki and she were friends, Shizuru never wanted to worry her, keeping everything well hidden behind that perfect Fujino mask.

"Heh, this is going to sound stupid…." She started, rubbing the back of her neck like she always did when she got nervous, or embarrassed. As she brought her arm down, Natsuki's expression changed from flustered to just quiet, "You don't hold me back." She knew. "Whenever you're awake you stray away from my touch. Even though I'm sleeping I can tell…. It's colder." I was speechless. Not only was Natsuki aware she had a habit of cuddling while asleep, but she also knew Shizuru wasn't sleeping much. For the girl who had always seemed so out of the loop and emotionally detached she seemed to know quite a bit, Shizuru didn't know whether to be upset or happy. On one hand it showed that Natsuki really did care. But on the other hand it showed she knew about the cuddling, yet still she avoid Shizuru during the day; treating her like any other person, sometimes with even more distance. Was she just a toy? Someone to play mistress? To go out with next weeks trash?

"Shizuru?" Her voice broke the silence. As I gazed ahead I found a strong pair of emerald orbs watching me, "I'm sor…"

"Natsuki has nothing to apologize for." I had finally found my voice. There were so many things I wanted to scream out. I wanted to ask her why she had never said anything before. Why did she still treat me like a stranger? However, those words never left my lips. "I am sorry for making **you** worry, but I am fine. Things have just been stressful that's all. You know my father." It wasn't a complete lie. About a month after the Carnival, Shizuru's father had contacted her. He wanted her to come back to Kyoto. As the only heir to Fujino Corporation it was important she began working with the company as soon as possible. Though she had politely refused, Shizuru knew it was only a matter of time before she would have no choice but to return. Natsuki knew this as well. Maybe that's why Natsuki had been so nice. She knew I wouldn't be around forever.

I was drawn out of my thoughts when I felt a warm hand cupping my cheek, "Natsuki…?" I looked at her questioningly.

Inching towards me, she rested her forehead against mine, a small smile creasing her lips, "I know that's not the only reason Fujino Shizuru." I was melting at her touch. Did she know just what kind of power she held over me? "Do you know why I come over every night?"

Words couldn't formulate within my mind so the shaking of my head would have to suffice.

"You're my most precious person Shizuru. It took me forever to realize that, and in the process I hurt you..."

It was self pity. That was why she was doing this. She felt sorry for me. I could feel tears well up in my eyes, but I forbid them from falling. I would not show weakness.

You must have noticed as you ran your thumb across my closed eyelid, wiping away the salty liquid that had formed. _'Damn it' _I cursed silently to myself.

"Shizuru…. I'm not here out of pity." As those words left her precious lips my eyes snapped open, was I hearing things? Was God trying to torment me? "I love you Shizuru. The way you love me." I could feel her breath against my lips as she leaned in closer, brushing those soft lips against mine, "I know I may not be able to show the world yet, but I want to show you."

It was as if I was dreaming. Someone pinch me, there was no way this could be true. But your lips suddenly pressed against mine, a warmth spreading through me like no other. Unable to move, unable to speak I simply lay there. Motionless.

"Please Shizuru…" At the lack of response you backed away, a sudden fear replacing your bravery. I was losing you. Without thinking I grabbed the collar of your night shirt, crushing our lips together. Within me a burning passion was unleashed. Raw emotion. _'Don't leave me Natsuki.'_ I begged, _'Even if this is just a dream… don't let me wake up!'_ We were lost in a sense of passion long tucked away.

Finally, requiring air, we parted; our breaths heavy and swift. "Natsuki…" I wasn't sure if this was really happening.

Sensing that fear you wrapped your arms about me, drawing me closer, "Shhhhh…. We can talk in the morning. But for now… sleep…" For the third time that night, Natsuki had surprised me. First with the whole sleep/cuddle complex, then with the kiss, and now with the warm arms that were wrapped protectively about my waist. Was Natsuki really awake?

"Nat….suki?" I asked hesitantly.

"Mmmmm…. tired… later…." She whimpered into my neck, snuggling me closer. I couldn't suppress the giggle. Slowly I ran my fingers through her delicate blue locks. In the morning Natsuki had a lot of explaining to do. But until then Shizuru decided to take the younger girl's lead; more cuddling, less talking.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Forbidden Love Cont.**_

* * *

It was all so perfect. Aside from the fact that I was unable to fall asleep immediately, and that Natsuki was snoring rather loudly, the rest of the night had gone by peacefully. I spent another hour after my sleeping beauty had awoken and confessed her feelings, merely laying there, with her in my arms, her warm breath tickling my neck. Though she had told me to sleep, I just… I couldn't bring myself to quite yet. _'Just let me stay in this dream.'_ I silently begged to some unforeseen God. _'Let this moment never end.'_ But as if against me again, the Gods' let sleep capture me; hours later awaken me to a cold empty bed. No Natsuki. Whatever sleep still fathomed behind my droopy eyelids were shoved aside as I leapt to my feet, tossing the blankets off in the other directions.

My feet hit the floor with a thud, and I almost greeted the morning floor with my head; a little too quickly up. Stumbling to my right, I took hold of my dresser, using it to keep me from allowing my dizziness to get the better of me.

"Shizuru?" A soft voice called out from somewhere in the small dorm. My blood froze; the dizziness subsiding just enough to allow me to bask in the beauty of the woman standing in the door frame. Blue locks tied back, a thin layer of white covered the woman from head to toe. She wore my pink cooking apron, the one with the cute little bunny for a pocket, and in one hand she held a spatula. Those emerald eyes crossed as she looked to the clump of flour upon her nose, a frown creasing her lips. I couldn't resist. I pounced, "GAHHHH!!"

We landed in a heap upon the floor, me on top, my beauty on the bottom. The dizziness seemed to have evaporated ever since I saw her; she hadn't left me. Natsuki hadn't abandoned me. As if I were a small pup, I nuzzled my nose affectionately into the crook of her flour covered neck, eliciting a sharp gasp from her, "Sh… sh… shizuru!" Oh, how I missed the sound of your voice. From beneath me you crawled out, pushing me to the side gently, just enough to allow you to sit up, "B-b-breakfast is ready." You swallowed the heavy lump in your throat, eyes darting about the room madly. A classic tomato red colour encompassed your facial features as you scampered up, finally realizing the compromising position we were in, "I'll… uh… kitchen… you… dressed… meet you… kitchen." Too flustered to make much sense you scurried out of the room, back to the sweet smell I now noticed in the air. _'Dressed? What was wrong with my attire?'_ Looking down, a small grin spread across my face. It seems the flannel pajamas I was wearing… well the top few buttons on the shirt had come undone revealing perhaps a little too much for my poor Natsuki to handle.

"Fufufufu," I couldn't help but chuckle. Natsuki hadn't left, she was cooking. Cooking for heavens sake! _'Oh, I hope my kitchen was still in tact…_' Musing over the idea of a charcoal kitchen, and a few broken pots and pans, I made a swift change into some casual dark blue denim jeans and a black t-shirt. As I wandered past the vanity, I took a quick comb through my honey locks before rushing out of the bedroom to save my kitchen.

As I made my way through the small hallway I noticed something; no smoke. No smoke was coming from my kitchen. Was Natsuki really cooking? Rounding the final turn, I stopped dead in my tracks. Flour covered my floor, counters, and all other surfaces possible. However, that wasn't the most shocking part. The most shocking part was the meal sitting on the table. It… it actually looked edible. Tea brewing in the pot Natsuki had bought me for Christmas, a plate of freshly cut fruits, and some sort of circular pancake thing, but it looked thinner, and a tad bit greasier. Craning my head to one side, I placed my index finger upon my lips, something was missing. But what? Suddenly it hit me. No white unhealthy substance. Nothing seemed to have been covered in that disgusting substance that my Natsuki had an unhealthy obsession for. Unable to keep it to myself I asked, "Ara Natsuki, this all looks wonderful but… where's the mayonnaise?"

Trying to hide that adorable pink ting on your cheeks, you kept your back to me, busying yourself with the dishes, "I… uh… I thought that today would be special. I know how much you don't like it after all and… I mean, just once won't kill me… right?" Then you shot a sheepish glance over your shoulder, rubbing the back of your neck nervously. It took every ounce of willpower within me not to pounce. Instead…

Before you could object I snuck my hands around your waist, placing a gentle kiss upon your flour covered cheek, "Ara, Natsuki is too sweet to me. Thank you." Not wanting to overdue things I stepped back, making my way to my seat, daring to catch a glimpse of your response. As expected; tomato red. For the next few minutes you busied yourself with cleaning the mess you had made; just anything to allow you time to return to a normal shade.

Chopsticks poised, my stomach more then starving, I had to pause, glancing hesitantly at you, "…. Natsuki…." As you turned around, that bit of flour still upon your nose, my stomach did another turn, _'Kawaii!'_ I squealed inwardly, but on the outside my mask remained perfect. Well except perhaps for the confusion. Drying off your hands on the dish towel, you took a seat across from me, picking up your own chopsticks.

"Like this." You said with a small smile, using your chopsticks to pick up the pancake like food, setting it down on your plate. Next you scooped up some of the fruit, delicately placing it in the center of your strange dish, before wrapping it up and taking a bite. Mimicking you, I raised my own hesitantly to my lips. _'Well here goes nothings.'_ I was delightfully surprised at the taste, my face evidently revealing that and, "You like it?" You asked, with a sense of hope in your voice.

"I do! And here I thought my Natsuki was only capable of butchering food. It seems I was wrong." The teasing came as second nature really, as your face flushed red for the third time this morning. Inwardly, I let out of happy sigh, _'Good things must come in threes…' _Clearing your throat you scarfed down the rest of your strange fruit wrap, dusting off your hands of any remaining flour. As I delicately ate the remainder of mine, you reached for a second. It was as if you were trying to keep yourself busy… not wanting to talk? How would I bring it up? How do you bring it up? Does one just say: 'Natsuki said she loves me. Does she really love me?' That seemed a little too forward; with Natsuki I had to word it just right…

"About last night…" Shocked, I almost dropped the food in my hands; almost. Looking across the table, I saw your gaze focused on the intricate workings of the knots of wood. Anywhere was better then looking at me wasn't it? _'I knew it… It was just a lie.'_ Fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, you couldn't find the words.

"It's alright Natsuki. I understand." I said with a calm voice, nothing like how I truly felt. Inside, my stomach tossed and turned. _'She didn't love me. It was all just a lie… I should have known…'_

Eyes lighting up you almost jumped out of your seat, you seemed excited, _Natsuki… _"You do? Oh wow, that makes things so much easier! I mean with the way I was acting and all," Again you took your seat, trying to calm your excitement; "I thought you wouldn't understand, but that's wonderful Shizuru! I'm so glad I don't have to explain myself." Inside my heart nearly died. _Why do you tease me so? Do you really hate me that much Natsuki? _Unable to hide behind my mask, a sad expression caressed my lips. "Shizuru?" Cocking your head to the side you looked at me, almost puzzled, "Shizuru, what's wrong?"

Tears forming in my eyes, I couldn't contain them any longer. As they streaked down my façade, everything came crashing down. Clasping my head in my hands I sobbed, I couldn't take it anymore, this was too much, "Does Natsuki really hate me that much?"

* * *

Author Note: Alright! Here you are chum-sa and emosewame this chapter of my writing I dedicate to you two! Hahaha, probably not what you expected, but fear not. I just wanted to leave on a cliff hanger.

Thanks to the both of you, I had the inspiration to write on. Though I ran out of time for today, I thought I'd put up what I had and continue with another excerpt another time.

See what reviewing does? It inspires me to get my ass in gear and write Shiz/Nat fanfictions!!

Anyways, I have some calculus to do now, and a recital to attend. Depending on how busy I am in the next week, I'm hoping to have the rest of this up by no later then... one week from now?

Review, review, review!! The more reviews I get the more I want to keep writing!


	7. Chapter 7

_**Forbidden Love Final**_

* * *

_Clasping my head in my hands I sobbed, I couldn't take it anymore, this was too much, "Does Natsuki really hate me that much?"_

* * *

The chair fell back as Shizuru got to her feet, she couldn't let Natsuki see her like this. Not after all she had done for her. Feet scuffled across the hardwood floor, followed by the slamming of a door. And like that, the kitchen was silent.

Natsuki could only stare in shock. "What… just…." The gears in her head turned, but a little too late, "SHIZURU!!" Another chair was tossed back as the cobalt beauty leapt to her feet, dashing out of the kitchen, down the hall, and to the door that separated us.

Pounding upon the sturdy wooden surface, she tried that knob. Locked. "Open up! Shizuru!" On the other side muffled sobs could be heard. "Shizuru I'm not leaving until you open up this door!" Natsuki waited a few moments but received no response, "What did I do? I thought you said you understood? Shizuru?" The sobs only got louder. "I'm coming in!" Declared the younger of the two. She turned around, separating herself from the door, "I suggest you stand back from the door Shizuru…" Crouching low, Natsuki prepared herself. Taking another moment to compose herself, she ran for the door, full force would get her to Shizuru. _Thump! _"GAHHH!!" Roared the girl. The door had held. Rather solidly in fact. It hadn't even given way in the smallest manner. This of course resulted in a searing pain up and down Natsuki's entire left side.

"Natsuki…" Finally I could muster the strength to speak through my sobs. You shouldn't be here. Not outside my room. Not in my hallway. Not in my life. "Please…." The next few words took every ounce of strength I had to say and to say without breaking apart, "Just leave."

"Oh…" You said softly. So softly I almost missed it, "So… I just…"

"Go!" I said a bit harsher then I had intended. For a moment life seemed to be put on mute. Not my sobs and not the small trail of your tears could be heard. It was love at its pinnacle point - the pinnacle point of misunderstanding.

"I'll leave…." From my position and my soft sobs it was hard to hear your words, but somehow I managed, "…but before I go… I just wanted to say something." I was about to disagree. To tell you it already hurt too much. That I didn't need to hear it. I knew you hated me. Ever since the Carnival… But maybe it was a good thing my voice didn't come. Maybe it was what gave us even the smallest glimmer of hope.

"I don't know what I did wrong," You began, your voice quaking in fear, choking back your own sobs, "But…. but… I wasn't lying. What I said. I love you Shizuru. You're my most important person – my only important person. I know I don't deserve you, or even your love, after all I hurt you so much… I'm still hurting you. Every step I take forward lands us two steps back. I hate…" Though I could not see, I could tell you were struggling, "No, I don't hate, I love it when you tease me. Though sometimes I wish you would tone it down. I love everything you are. Heh, the way you smile - that real smile - when only I'm around. I love the way your words leave your lips, how something as simple as a hug leaves me breathless. I love the way your hair frames your face, and in the breeze how it flusters past your nose, causing you to go cross-eyed at the notion, and even sometimes scowl. It's the cutest scowl ever. But most importantly, I love you. I love you for all the quirks and the bumps, for all the imperfections, because in my eyes… they're what make you perfect."

I couldn't move; couldn't speak. My tongue was tied, a heavy weight resting upon my chest. Tears began a new, overflowing their bounds and cascading down my pale cheeks. She loved me. Natsuki loved **me**.

"I… maybe I was too late. Heh, funny how that works huh? Finally I build up the courage to tell you something and everything goes all wrong. I'm sorry Shizuru. For everything I did or didn't do. I'm sorry for not realizing things sooner. And I'm sorry for ever hurting you."

_Move. Move legs move!_ Silently I screamed. Why wouldn't my body listen to me? Here was Natsuki, outside my door, baring her emotions raw, exposing them to the dangers of the outside and where was I to protect her? I was sitting here, against my door, unable to do anything other then cry; the tears never ending. _I love you Natsuki! I love you!_ My mind screamed, but my throat did nothing, a merger croak leaving my lips. I could hear you retreating, the front door opening, and then closing. I was losing you. Again.

Above my silent pleas, I heard the sound of your Ducati. Normally that sound brought a smile to my face, but not now. Now it brought a chilling fear - a fear of once again losing you. _'Natsuki… Natsuki….' _

"NATSUKI!!" Finally my limbs unlocked, my voice finding its way back. I was on my feet in a matter of moments, throwing open my door, before bolting out of my dorm room. _'Please Kami-sama… please… don't let me be too late.'_ As I reached the bottom level, I could see her beginning to pull out. Just like in my dreams this was always how it ended; me chasing after her and her never looking back. "NATSUKI!!" I yelled louder then I had ever yelled before, my voice almost at the point of breaking. No. This time it wasn't a dream. This time she wouldn't, no she couldn't leave me. If she did I don't know what I'd do to myself.

He answered my prayers. Her head turned around one last time. Beneath that dark visor I could see her eyes widen in shock, tires screeching on the pavement. Slow, afraid, she pulled off her helmet, eyes hesitantly upon me, "Shizu…"

I didn't let her finish. I hadn't stopped moving. I was still moving towards her and with every bit of strength, flung myself against her, arms wrapping about her neck, taking her by surprise, "D-don't go!" I stammered, for the first time in my history of knowing the young beauty. My young beauty, "Please, don't leave me Natsuki. I love you. I love you!" I was in tears again. But this was different. They weren't tears of sorrow. They were tears of hope. A hope that perhaps, just perhaps, you loved me enough in return to stay with me – even if just for a little while longer. _'You are my everything Natsuki; my sun, my moon, my life.'_

At first you tried best not to topple over. After all, a young woman jumping at you full force as you were turned sideways on your bike wasn't the easy. But somehow you managed, wrapping your arms about me, tenderly caressing my hair, "…."

I didn't let her speak. With a giddiness in my stomach I rose up, a soft ting covering my pale features, it was now or never. Closing my eyes, it was sealed. With a kiss. Nothing rash or abrupt. Just a simple, beautiful kiss. A kiss representing a blossoming love; an eternal love. Our love. And the best part? You didn't object. You didn't pull back in disgust. No, you welcomed it. With open, loving, tender arms.

We didn't talk much after that. No, somehow you managed to pick me up, carrying me back to my dorm where the door lay carelessly open. You took us to my bedroom, a strange look in your eye. I couldn't tell right then what it was, but later I discovered it to be love - pure, unrelenting love, for me. The next few hours were a blur, but when it was over, we both lay exhausted in each others arms, a content smile on both of our faces. I remember that moment clearly –when you wrapped your arms about me, pulling me in, placing a soft kiss upon my rosy, swollen lips. When you whispered those three simple words in my ear, "Shizuru…. I love you."

* * *

_Since that day, it has been exactly three years and six months since Natsuki and I have been together. A few days after the event, she moved into my apartment. Though we do argue from time to time, the time spent together is by far the best. Natsuki graduated from Fuuka, though she had several extra courses to take, and a lot of catching up to do, she did it. Now she's taking classes down at the local college. She's planning on getting her degree in Mechanics. One day, when the time is right, she wants to open a small shop, nothing big, but something she truly loves. _

_As for myself my father stopped begging me to come back to Kyoto. Instead he let me open my own lingerie shop. I must say, he wasn't too thrilled at first, but after the grand success, and his fond approval of Natsuki, he warmed up to the idea. My best customer has to be none other then a certain blue haired goddess, though she would prefer if we keep that small detail to ourselves. Fufufu…_

_As for my nightmares, let's just say, they still occur, but rarely. With a protective set of arms about me every night, I have little room for bad dreams. My knight and shining armour has seen to chasing them away. That and my dedicated fan club. Well I had best get going before Natsuki gets upset. I can hear her calling me from the bedroom. I wonder what she has planned for tonight._

Closing my diary, I removed my reading glasses, setting both in the top drawer of my desk. Rising to my feet, I padded across the room, crawling upon the bed, hovering above my Natsuki. With a predatory growl she pulls me down for a kiss. Perhaps there are such things as happy endings.

Author Note: Alright! It's up! Damn it, I got working on it, and I just couldn't stop. I haven't done any of my class work Sigh Oh well.

It turned out really corny, and I haven't had a chance to re-read it, but I'd figure I'd put up the raw version for you subscribed readers out there.

I hope you like it, and if you have any suggestions for a new one, I'd love to hear them.


	8. Chapter 8

**_Paper_**

* * *

_What does it mean… _"Mou, Shizuru, I don't get this. Could you come here for a minute?" The dark haired woman asked, motioning to the open text before her: _Trigonometric__ Identities._

At the other side of the table, a woman with honey coloured tresses sat, tapping her pencil periodically; lost in a world of thought. "Oi…. Shizuru…." Voice more aggravated, Natsuki closed her eyes, fist clenched at her side. She hated being ignored. In fact she hated being ignored almost as much as being bother. Strange and a tad contradicting, Natsuki didn't seem to care. What she cared about this moment was the fact that Shizuru was ignoring **her**.

A soft humming echoed through the small living room as the sound of a pencil scribbling upon paper broke the apparent writers block the other had been facing for the past God knows how long. Brow cocked, Natsuki could never remain upset long when it came to Shizuru. But what was so thrilling that it caused Shizuru not only to hum but also to ignore her? From her seated position Natsuki rose, creeping over to the other side of the table. On the balls of her feet, as best not to make any noise or sudden movement for the matter, Natsuki simply looked like a fool - but a rather silent fool at that. Peering over the seated girl's shoulder, the stealthily assailant adjusted her reading glasses, squinting to read the elegantly written figures.

_You're shy,_

_Gentle,_

_Sweet,_

_Caring_

The next few lines were crossed out, re-written, and then once again crossed out. So to save the pains of attempting to decipher it, the young girl merely moved on – gaze shifting down the page.

_I find myself lost in your alluring emerald eyes_

_So deep and exhilarating, _

_I find myself unable to move_

_Unable to stop_

A twinge of pink unconsciously worked its way onto the cheeks of the raven haired youth. Heart beating faster, Natsuki found herself unable to tear her eyes away from Shizuru's sheet of paper.

_My sun_

_My moon_

_I know nothing without you_

_For it is your warmth that keeps me sane_

_Your smile that keeps me going_

_From you I have learned much_

_How to smile_

_How to live_

_But most of all how to love_

_And even in turn, be loved._

"Natsuki… you are my one… my only… my everything…"

"Shizu…" Eyes suddenly wide, Natsuki jumped back letting out a startled cry. There, hands folded neatly in her lap, the warm smile upon her lips…. Shizuru sat contently. Unable to speak, the latter simply pointed, jaw gaping, "Y-y-y-you…"

"Ara, me?" Head tilted just so, the crimson eyed woman merely smiled, doing well to mask her inner chuckle.

"You… me… writing… watching… …. How long?!" The words came in no real order, but she seemed to understand. Shizuru struck that thoughtful pose. _ Damn her._

One hand resting just below her chin, the other supporting her elbow, Shizuru thought hard… ish. "Ara, well you see… My Natsuki was breathing so heavily on my ear that it was sending shivers up and down my spine. Mou, I didn't know Natsuki wanted me that badly!"

As Shizuru went off into her strange world, with even stranger thoughts, Natsuki was only left to gape. Mouth wide, right eye twitching, the young woman wasn't entirely sure what to make of the situation before her. There was Shizuru, one of the most composed woman in all of Tokyo making googoo eyes at some unseen figure - small hearts seeming to capture her gaze.

"O-o-o-oi… Shizuru…" Cautiously the raven haired woman crept forward, tapping her best friend upon the shoulder. As if she were the present under the tree at Christmas, Shizuru lunged at her.

"Natsuki!!" She squealed excitedly, her eyes never losing their lustful gaze.

"Ah! Shizuru!" Back the two toppled, Shizuru on top, mercilessly nuzzling at her new pillow - which happened to be none other then Natsuki's now ample bosom. Yes, Natsuki was finally catching up to her. Though whether Natsuki or Shizuru was more grateful… it was hard to tell.

Had it been a few months earlier, the woman being profusely groped would have put up a fight, scrambling away from the other's lecherous grasp. Yet, the festival had awoken emotions deep within the younger girl that even she did not think were possible. The event had brought to light her most important person, the one true weakness that Natsuki had. _Shizuru_.

In a world all her own, Shizuru wore a look of contentment - a look of bliss - something only Natsuki was blessed to see. Subconsciously, Natsuki brought her arms up, wrapping them firmly about the other - almost as if to ensure she would not vanish. No one spoke. Neither moved – both lost in the moment.

Natsuki was first to break the silence, the words upon the abandoned paper creeping its way back into her vision, "Ne, Shizuru?" Soft, no more then a whisper the dark haired adolescence began. Her voice, as she found out, wished not to co-operate, allowing her no strength behind those words. Fragile. Weak. Just as Natsuki found herself to be inside – hidden behind the walls of ice.

"Hai?" The woman nestled between her two breasts moved not, finding the position oh too comfortable.

"That paper…" Piercing the base of her lips, Natsuki found her body trembling against her will. The terrifying thought of another having invaded the Kaichou's heart was like a wrench to her stomach. It hurt more then words could describe… If those words… Did they embody Shizuru's love for another, or where they… for her? Natsuki wanted to know. No, she needed to know.

Beneath her Shizuru could feel the change in Natsuki's body. Rigid. Tense. The crimson haired woman dared to gaze upward, curious as to what might be bothering her precious Natsuki. "Natsuki…?" A questioning stare was sent her direction.

Orbs of emerald searched everywhere before finally falling upon those blood red spheres they loved so much. As if the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders, Natsuki relaxed back into the comforting position they were currently in. It was now or never. Inhaling, cheeks twinged with a pink, the flustered girl spewed forth, "Who was it?"

A rare glaze of confusion adorned those precious eyes and Natsuki couldn't help but chuckle. Atop her lay the perfect embezzlement of society - calm and composed always - with a deer in the head lights look; definitely a moment to treasure. "… Ara… what does Natsuki find so funny?" Shizuru mused, tears expertly brimming, her low lip quivering just so, "Could it be my Natsuki is making fun of me?"

_Gah, don't fall for it. It's just another one of her tricks. She's faking it. She's faking it. _The words recited over and over again within the dark haired woman's mind. A lone tear fell from those vibrant orbs of crimson, staining that flawless skin with its glossy trail. No matter how much resolve she had, all wall crumbled when Shizuru was in pain – physically or emotionally – even if Natsuki knew it to only be an act. The walls of her heart ached. Stomach turned. "Silly…" A warm smile enveloped her facial features; the trademark red no where to be seen. Upwards she reached, cupping the woman's face in her hand, "I would never make fun of you."

It was Shizuru's turn to blush - that rare colour that only Natsuki was able to inflict. "Nat…su…ki…"

"Heh, you're too precious to me Shizuru." This time a faint flush accompanied her statement. Unable to tame the colour, Natsuki averted her gaze, absently scratching her cheek. "But… ano… Shizuru… what you were writing…"

_So she read it._ "Ara, that?" Motioning back to the deserted sheet.

"Mmhm… t-t-that…"

Gingerly running her finger down Natsuki's side, Shizuru wore that notorious smirk, "Did my Natsuki like it?" Calm words betrayed the inner angst pulsing through her.

"I-it was nice… I mean good. I mean the words were meaningful and deep. Whoever inspired them must be one lucky person to you…" There she had said it. The worry, the fear, voiced. In one simple statement.

"…" _She's worried. Thinks that I've replaced her. Oh Natsuki how could you even think that. I'll always be yours – you are my one. My only. I love you. _"Ara Natsuki you are so silly sometimes. Who is it that you think inspired my words? Do you think it was just some random fan girl? Perhaps some unknown suitor?" Both were striped bare of masks. In the moment of honesty, everything had come forth.

"I… uhh… I don't know… I was… I was kind of hoping… it was me." The last part was so quiet that it had almost been missed. So adorable with that crimson blush. Irresistible.

A sigh of relief slipped past. "Ara… Natsuki is so adorable. So naïve." Closer she pressed into the woman, leering up to plant a kiss upon the said girl's nose, before returning to her nuzzling, "Only one girl could ever spur my heart to flutter out such sweet words. The same girl that is always too sweet to me. The one who shows only me that other side – past the barriers of ice – into her heart. My one precious person, my sweet, sweet, Natsuki."

Words slipped through her grasp, but she knew Shizuru would understand. So again silence enveloped the happy couple. Time irrelevant to the two young women. All that mattered rested just in reach – respectively their most precious person as the Carnival had proved.

Of course, that perfect silence didn't last long as a pair of wandering hands found there way a little too low. Outside passersbys' turned, attempting to pinpoint the sound that had fractured their eardrums. Inside lay a young woman, red from head to toe, "SHIZURU!!" But the gleeful honey haired goddess had jumped up quickly, skipping merrily off to the kitchen with some excuse resembling _'Cold tea.'_

* * *

Author Note: Okay sorry its been so long since I've written anything. I've been a bit down in the slumps for writing ideas and have been playing a little too much Guild Wars

I haven't started the next chapters for Letters. Hopefully once my cold goes away and I can think again I'll be able to throw something up.

Erm, haven't proof read the last portion of this piece but I'll do that tomorrow.

Any ideas for another miny story?

Ps: This was my attempt at a fluff... it doesn't turn out well as you see. I write drama's better!! what's life without a little mishap right?

Omake:

Natsuki: Oi! What's this!! Tea?? :Shakes the script: Shizuru you couldn't come up with anything better!?

Shizuru: :Sips tea: Mou... Natsuki... meanie Sniffles

Natsuki: :Twitch/flail: Not saying tea is bad just... take responsibility for what you start!

Shizuru: Ara, does Natsuki want me to take responsibility?

Natsuki: :Gulps: ...

Shizuru: If Natsuki says so! :Puts down tea:

Natsuki: :Slowly backs away: Ah... I mean...

Shizuru: Natsuki is going to take it back? So cruel!

Natsuki: NOO!! ... I mean yes!!

Shizuru: Natsuki is so indecisive. Does Natsuki not want me?

Natsuki: Um... well... :Blushes and fidgets:

Shizuru: Kawaii!! :Tackles:

Natsuki: SHIZURU!!

Shizuru: :Growls softly: Don't worry my dear... I'll be gentle...

:Censored as clothes fly about and strange sounds echo throughout the neighbourhood. Parents sending their children inside with worried looks:

Kitara: OO;; :Blushes: WAIT TILL I'M OUT OF THE ROOM!! :Runs out screaming: Too young for this! Too young!


End file.
